Are Kids OK at the Wedding?
Talk about topics where everyone has strong opinions! While some people feel like a wedding is not just a wedding without kids -- others see children as a major liability, cocked and ready to ruin the most important (and expensive) day of their lives.
Whether you believe children to be little angels, devils, or somewhere in between, deciding whether or not to invite them to your wedding can be a tall order, especially since you donât want to hurt anyoneâs feelings.
But before you add a kiddie table complete with chicken nuggets to menu, here are four things to take into consideration when deciding if you should add kids to your final guest list.
Formal Evening Wedding
Are you springing for the six-course meal, black-tie event complete with a live orchestra? If so, you may be off the hook when it comes to having to invite children. The more formal the event, the less likely youâll be expected to invite kids.
And before you feel too bad, remember most kids are miserable at fancy wedding bashes, while their parents are eternally grateful for an excuse to have an adults-only night on the books. #winwin
Letting your guests know on the invitation that this a formal, adults-only event is usually enough to avoid any hurt feelings. After all, if they were spending $100K on one evening, they wouldnât risk their âI Dosâ being interrupted by a screaming little guest, who misses their nap.
If youâre concerned about your out of town guests having the child-care they need, consider arranging a babysitter or nanny for the evening of the wedding that a few parents could share. If your reception is at a hotel, itâs not uncommon for parents to split the cost of a babysitter who can hang out slumber-party style, watching Pixar flicks with the kids while the adults party downstairs.
Afternoon Brunch
Afternoon weddings are seen as more family-friendly (yes, even if those tea sandwiches cost more than your ring) so if you want to invite the kiddos, afternoon weddings are perfect for the entire family.
If you do invite kids to your afternoon wedding (or a wedding at any time) donât fall for the usual âkiddie tableâ tradition. Keep families seated together so the parents can keep a close eye on their children, which will help avoid meltdowns and screaming fits in the middle of dinner service.
Inviting Select Children
Allâs fair in love and wedding invites.
Hereâs the deal, just because you invite some kids, doesnât mean you have to invite all the kids. Putting blanket rules on your wedding invites like ânobody under 12â implies that youâll have to invite all children 12 and over.
And thatâs simply not true.
Perhaps, youâre close to your little niece and nephew, or maybe you just canât imagine your big day without your best friendâs children. Invite them. By inviting these special littles, youâre not obligated to invite everyoneâs kids just because they have them.
Like the adults on your guest list, invite the children you have a special relationship with - and leave the others off the invitation. And if anyone asks, you can simply say you had limited room, and so invited the kids that you were close to.
Who can argue with that?
Sometimes in our quest to be âfairâ we can end up hurting someoneâs feelings, and as The Knot points out, if youâre not inviting the child to reception, donât invite them to the ceremony - especially if other kids get to go. We all know how much it sucks to watch our friends go off to a party we werenât invited to.
Donât Make Them Eat Duck
...or whatever fancy-food you have on the menu. If youâre going to include kids, make sure you splurge for the extra kidâs menu. Chicken nuggets, mac and cheese -- you know all the good stuff the other guests will be eyeing over their filet and asparagus.
Once youâve decided on whether or not youâll be inviting children, and whoâs getting the invitation, remember that clarity is absolutely key. This way parents arenât left guessing, and youâre not surprised with a little guest who wasnât supposed to be there.
When you send out invitations, clearly address who is invited on the outside of the envelope. For example, if youâre only inviting the parents - just make the invite out to Mr. & Mrs. Smith. If the kids are welcome, address the invitation to The Smith Family.
 Clarity, honesty and sticking to your guns about what you want, is the best way to make sure that your guests know exactly where you stand - and will also help you make a decision on who to invite. Because whether you invite all the kids, some of the kids, or none of the kids -- you get to have exactly who you and your SO want on the guest list.
