Tips and Tricks

Upgrading your Diamond

Are you the same person you were ten years ago?

We're guessing that's a hard no. Look, we all know that change is inevitable. So why is the topic of upgrading to a newer, sparklier (and many cases BIGGER) center stone so taboo?

As living, breathing members of the human race, we are constantly changing. Upping our game, living our lives, trying to do things bigger and better than before. So why does it feel like such a betrayal anytime a woman wants to upgrade her diamond ring?

Some people can't seem to separate themselves from the ring. And we get it. But let's be clear, wanting a new rock is NOT the same thing as wanting a new man. It's the diamond she wants to trade-in, not YOU.

In fact, according to experts like Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University, for some of us an object like this is "a bridge to another person or to another feeling." Deep, for sure.

Still, sentimental value is nothing compared to the things you've accomplished together as partners. You are bigger and badder than ever before.

Engagement ring upgrades are not for everybody, so don't just assume your partner wants to upgrade their diamond. Or if they do want to upgrade their center diamond, the reasons behind it. Not assuming is just a good policy in general.

How to feel good about upgrading your current engagement ring

OK, real talk. Some women go into an engagement feeling like they've "settled" on a ring. In fact, some couples get married fully knowing they're going to upgrade that original diamond in a number of years. In these cases, she probably already has a pretty clear mental picture of her next level diamond.

But even in cases where the request for an upgrade comes totally out of left field, you're always going to want to kick off with a candid convo. After all, the LAST thing you want is to fire up your search with budget ranges that differ by the cost of a month-long family holiday on the big island.

Here are a couple questions you BOTH need to get crystal clear on:

Does she want to keep the first engagement ring or trade it in?

If trade in, your first step will be getting a legit appraisal. (We highly recommend using the Rare Carat Report for an exact estimate of what your center diamond is worth)

Many retailers have trade in policies to make upgrades like this as easy (and affordable) as can be. Check with your retailer to find out how you can get more bang for your buck on your next upgrade.

Does she just want a new diamond or would a new setting do the trick?

A simple setting switch can make any piece look like a completely new ring.

Maybe the real problem is that your wife just doesn't feel like a solitaire kind of woman any more. Switching to a bezel setting and classing it up with some sapphires on the side might be just the change she's looking for. On the flipside, if bigger's what you want, switching to a more slender setting can make your current rock look WAY bigger.

How much are you willing to spend on the final product?

If you followed tradition and spent 3X your salary on that first ring, you might be dreading the thought of having to do that again. But depending on what she wants (and even where you live), bigger might not necessarily mean better. There are plenty of new styles that look "upgraded" that don't require a golf ball sized rock.

Get clear on exactly how big you want to go and how much cash you're willing to spend in order to get there. Talk about what she wants in a stone and setting so you can strategically divvy up the budget and lock down the bling she never knew she always wanted.

As much as we hate to admit it, the naysayers are totally right. The rock on your finger has ZERO to do with your rank or status. And no matter how many carats you floss, people are always going to judge you based on what they think you can "afford".

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