Have you fallen madly, blindly, head over heels in love with someone after knowing them for only a week? Or perhaps you have been in a relationship for 7 years and are feeling the pressures of your significant other wanting a more formal commitment? Will you ever really even know, for sure for sure, if you are ready to be betrothed?? Whatever your situation is, you have come to me with a very important life question - should I get engaged?! I mean I’m not technically certified to be giving out life advice, but I would never turn down a chance to give unsolicited suggestions (ask my friends)…so here is my creative scenario list for anyone looking for some straight-forward answers to such a complicated question! Disclaimer: every couple is different, and this decision should probably not be based solely on what I say…
When Engagement is a Yes
True Love
This is probably the most obvious one but getting engaged is a good idea when you truly love someone, and you genuinely want to move forward with them. It is even better if you know this person deeply and fully and still love them, or perhaps, love them even more. This is a total yes, you definitely should (and bonus points for thoughtfully designing your own custom diamond ring).
Comfortable
If you are completely comfortable with them! I’m talking - wake up with drool, crease marks, and eye crusties smudged across your face - but still answering that facetime call, type comfortable.
Supports You Through Everything
When you have been through some ups and downs together, like maybe winning the lottery or dealing with a death in the family. Seeing how your significant other reacts and supports you throughout life’s challenges, and vice-verse, is vital! This is the teammate you are choosing for life so the compatibility should be there.
Great Communication
You two have learned how to properly communicate with each other. This is extremely important because a solid relationship needs great communication! Without it, little misunderstandings can become big problems… and a lifetime of that would not be fun.
Similar Thoughts and Goals in Life
If you both have similar values and interests in things like religion, finances, work, the future, and family, then big decisions should flow much smoother. These are crucial life elements that could potentially make or break a couple in a long-term relationship. Have those conversations if you have not already!
Trustworthy
Trust is fundamental! When you trust this person more than any other person in the whole entire world… I mean with your dog, your child, your life, your heart, with everything- you are ready.
You are Complete
You are a better human being, you love harder and enjoy life more, and you honestly feel complete with this person- these all indicate a solid yes for moving forward into an engagement.
When Engagement is a No
Outside Pressures
Most notably, if you feel pressured to do it and deep down you don’t reeeeally want to (not the cutesy “let’s get married” pressure but the ridiculously overbearing “we HAVE to get married right now” pressure), then do not get engaged! Doesn’t matter if it is friends, family, or significant other pushing for it! This is not something that you should do if your entire heart is not in it. Good things come to those who wait! …or something like that…
Lack of True Commitment
The commitment for life is real so if you are not ready to be responsible for making decisions that will only better you two as people and as a couple, or if you aren’t ready to be fiercely loyal to your person, I would say it is a no go.
Because it is Time
Are you doing it because you think “it’s time?” There is never a set time, for any couple, that directly correlates with an engagement! This is just societal pressures bearing down.
Just Met
I know there are those wonderful stories of random people who meet, move in together, and then a month later are blissfully getting married - but that is totally not the norm. If you happen to be one of these very few people that this scenario works out successfully for, then I am beyond thrilled for you! But, for most of us, getting to know the true person takes time. Time is your friend when deciding on your life partner.
Inheritance Scheme
Let’s just say you are an heir to some massive inheritance… and a requirement is marriage… and this is your only reason… I know it is super tempting but just don’t do it!
Big Life Moment
If it happens to be the holiday season, a big birthday, or a monumental life milestone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to throw a proposal in with it! You totally can if you want to and if you are at that level, but a diamond ring that isn’t an engagement ring, a diamond necklace, or even diamond stud earrings would be a dazzling gift to mark the special occasion instead!
Does it matter how long you have been together? Not necessarily! Does it matter that you two have the same favorite movie, restaurant, and ice cream flavor?? Not exactly! An engagement is a promise to be married, and to be married is a commitment of yourself to another person for as long as you both shall live… so if you cannot even begin to imagine your life without this person moving forward, no matter what, then you are most definitely ready to get engaged! Congratulations to all the soon to be fiancés! May you have a long and happy life together.
